We say it all the time in the fitness world, stay strong, finish strong, be stronger than your thoughts. We selfie ourselves with our muscles to show off our gains. Women talk in today’s society about being strong like a man. I had a mom who raised me to be strong, independent, and to stand strong in my faith. However, just when you think that you are rock solid, you feel secure, BAM! something so earth shattering humbles you and makes you think twice about how strong you really were?
When my husband came home and told me that he was addicted to pain killers I had no idea what kind of journey I was going to be facing over the next year. Maybe God made it that way, because just like a muscle has to break down and tear before it can mend and strengthen, I had to do as well. I had a break, feel alone, sit in the dark, cry out to God, ask for help, then build myself back again…all for it to happen again once the weight of the world increased. It’s exhausting and invigorating all at the same time. Like pushing yourself to the complete breaking point in a workout, but then feeling on top of the world once you’ve achieve it. Constantly learning and growing and humbling yourself over and over.
Since October of 2017 I’ve been told by many how strong I am. I take the compliment and say thank you, because I know I’ve had to be. But overall, I’m not any stronger than any human who has had to deal with any kind of addiction. This may sound weird, but most days I feel so grateful for my husband’s addition. I’ve met some of the most amazing people. I’ve heard the most touching and painful stories of addiction from people I know and don’t know. People I’ve known for years who feel compelled and safe enough to share their stories of addiction with me. To those people who have suffered with someone with an addiction, I think your strong and courageous and beautiful! To those of you who suffer with this destructive disease, I think you’re strong and courageous and brave!
What I’ve learned…everyone in this world is just trying to do their best. We all make mistakes, we all fall at times, sometimes weakness creeps in and takes over our bodies. Please know that you can’t be strong on your own, it takes a community of people who back you and can spot you when the weight gets to much for us to bear. Sit in the dark for a little while, but don’t stay there. Come into the light and other’s help lift you. Your strength and bravery to face the day might inspire someone else to do the same.
My definition of strong…YOU!